I'm also happy to talk to any of you any time if it helps and there is no one else you feel like you can speak to. That said, when needed please get professional help.
And things really do get better, even when it feels impossible to imagine that being so.
You can read "Suicide, Success, Stay and some belated thoughts on the deaths of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade" here.
And some excerpt.
"My relationship to suicide and suicidal ideation is sporadic at best, and my understanding of why it happens, and when, is as surface level as most of us. I am reminded though with the deaths of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade that suicide does not discriminate and that being successful, as loaded a word as that is, does not forestall the darkness, fatigue, depression, despondency, anger or abuse, substance and otherwise, that can underlie the act of suicide and the idea that it feels like the best option available when nothing else seems to work. I am also reminded of my own most recent bout of darkness and confusion, how I didn't know what I was feeling and that I found some clarity in Episode 238 of the always terrific Other People podcast, wherein the host Brad Listi talked to Jennifer Michael Hecht about her book Stay: A History of Suicide and the Arguments Against It. Other People re-posted the episode last week and I hope for those of you struggling with trying to make sense of why these things happen you will listen and gain some insight as I did. For those of you struggling with suicidal thoughts I hope you will reach out to someone who cares about you or if needed, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255."