"IT’S NOT CLEAR that it was a crush, not by any standard definition I was accustomed to at that time anyway:
See person I’m attracted to.
Find them funny or mysterious, both maybe.
Try to figure out ways to be near them.
Soak-up their energy, and possibly consume them, if not physically, than metaphysically.
The feeling will be unrequited of course, at least initially. That’s certainly my experience.
The feeling will also be followed by a crippling desire that dogs me throughout the day, leaving me restless at night, and unable to sleep, with little likelihood of that changing.
So maybe I am incorrect, maybe it was very much like the crushes I was accustomed to. Maybe what was different is that this crush was not only unattainable, but male. Though not unattainable because said crush was male, though that was different than my standard crush, but because said crush was Parker Stevenson, and how was that going to work?"